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The waitress is a whimsical center of male fantasies – a kind of modern, marginalized, apron-clad goddess of the past couple centuries. Whether she’s the blonde, doe-eyed, Southern-accented sort or the sleek-figured, heavily eye-shadowed silhouette characterized by an ambitious acting career, waitresses seem to embody the best of young(ish) women at work. Unfortunately, a lot of them […]

The post How To Get A Waitress Go With You appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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The waitress is a whimsical center of male fantasies – a kind of modern, marginalized, apron-clad goddess of the past couple centuries. Whether she’s the blonde, doe-eyed, Southern-accented sort or the sleek-figured, heavily eye-shadowed silhouette characterized by an ambitious acting career, waitresses seem to embody the best of young(ish) women at work. Unfortunately, a lot of them also seem too preoccupied with their tip jars, vats of coffee and regular customers to spare a moment of flirtation beyond fluttering their lashes as they pass you the bill. How does one lure such a strangely intriguing creature from the corner cafe back to the bedroom? Like everything else that seems impossible and, in actuality, is secretly easy, it’s only a small matter of mind games, great timing and flattering the tip jar.

NOTE: You must identify the caliber of your waitress’ work habits and/or style. Silly as it seems, this is essential to preparing yourself to pounce on her, as various waitresses require various methods of amusement. Second, when entering your waitress’ restaurant, wait a few minutes and stall (i.e. making a pretend phone call, finishing up the front page of the newspaper) as you casually observe what tables your waitress is tending. When you’ve made a good enough guess at her specific section, ask nonchalantly to be seated therein.

The New Girl

If your wanted woman fumbles, nervously glances around, forgets a few drinks and fidgets in the presence of her manager, she’s new (i.e. you have nothing to worry about). New waitresses are thrown into a wildly unorganized world of pain and, therefore, are terribly vulnerable. The best way to win over your new waitress is by offering some comfort in a time when everyone is consumed with condemning her abilities and she herself can’t stop worrying about when or how she will be fired. When she wades over to your table, say “Thank You” always. When she takes you order, smile and say “And please don’t rush, I can see how busy you are by yourself over here.”

Continue to make casual, reassuring comments throughout your meal and soon she’ll be eager to visit, if only to hear what comfort you have to offer next. When at last the bill rolls around, you should say: “You know, I hope I’m not being presumptuous here, but I’d love to sit down to dinner with you sometime soon where someone else is waiting on you.” Waitresses work hard and like very much the idea of restaurants where they don’t work. If you’re too nervous to disrupt her in the middle of her anxious discourse, leave a note with your tips that communicates a similar sentiment (and, of course, your phone number). Remember, new waitresses are most often young, non-locals looking for companionship (meaning – it couldn’t take more than one or two dinners to offer her your company…in bed).

The Sassy Sort

Some waitresses, quite oppositely, are thoughtlessly sure of themselves. If you notice your waitress never misses a mark, constantly manages to run around without appearing disheveled and dazed and memorizes your order without notepad and pen, she’s seasoned. Moreover, if you observe her briskness to be matched by a brushing off of any flirtation or flattery from any customer, she’s sassy. Sassy waitresses are somewhat common and slightly more difficult to sleep with, as they are consistently prepared for piles of flirtatious men. What they’re not prepared for is men who can seemingly read their minds (or at least create the illusion of such). This means flattering her in a creative way. Instead of smiling and asking for frequent refills and ogling her uniform, admire her.

When she next comes to your table, toss out a nonchalant comment in the vain of: “I’m sorry if this sounds bizarre, but you’re an incredibly skilled waitress. I’ve never seen everything go so smoothly. I only say this because it’s super busy and I try to imagine what a mess I’d be.” Here, she’ll probably roll her eyes. Then say something like: “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I’m sure you’re used to a lot of guys hitting on you. That’s not what I meant. Though, I can see why…” Don’t say anything more – Sassy waitresses appreciate the sultrier, more silent, hard-to-get-type men, so just turn back to your paper or blackberry and pretend she’s already left you. This then means leaving a little note with a big tip, reading: “Okay, so maybe I was hitting on you…while simultaneously being impressed. Still, you should call me.” Women of this type will find such frankness quite adorable and intriguing. After all, they’re used to scoundrels slobbering over them instead of sly lads like yourself.

In Case Of Ignored Motes/Advances

If a note or offer is ignored by a waitress, don’t feel discouraged and determine never to return to the restaurant. On the contrary, make an effort to go back. She’s probably just suspicious of strangers and random notes. If she sees you again and you shamelessly smile, politely nod and request a table in her section, she’ll begin to think you’re a well-intentioned gentleman who simply happens to find her attractive. If you’re the confident sort, who feels he has nothing to lose, say to her “Hello, again,” when she approaches your table. If she doesn’t remember you, remind her, “Oh, I’m just the guy who asked you out and who you probably thought was a creep. Sorry ‘bout that.” Your casualness will make her feel comfortable in letting up a little. If she does remember you, she’ll feel as relaxed as you do. (Translation: be very relaxed). You may actually have more of a chance the second time around, so don’t back down. (NOTE: Another thing not to do: Ask her “When does your shift end, sweetie?” It’s a line she’s heard a thousand times and, moreover, a real lame one).

The post How To Get A Waitress Go With You appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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The waitress is a whimsical center of male fantasies – a kind of modern, marginalized, apron-clad goddess of the past couple centuries. Whether she’s the blonde, doe-eyed, Southern-accented sort or the sleek-figured, heavily eye-shadowed silhouette characterized by an ambitious acting career, waitresses seem to embody the best of young(ish) women at work. Unfortunately, a lot of them […]

The post How To Get A Waitress Go With You appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(6485) "

The waitress is a whimsical center of male fantasies – a kind of modern, marginalized, apron-clad goddess of the past couple centuries. Whether she’s the blonde, doe-eyed, Southern-accented sort or the sleek-figured, heavily eye-shadowed silhouette characterized by an ambitious acting career, waitresses seem to embody the best of young(ish) women at work. Unfortunately, a lot of them also seem too preoccupied with their tip jars, vats of coffee and regular customers to spare a moment of flirtation beyond fluttering their lashes as they pass you the bill. How does one lure such a strangely intriguing creature from the corner cafe back to the bedroom? Like everything else that seems impossible and, in actuality, is secretly easy, it’s only a small matter of mind games, great timing and flattering the tip jar.

NOTE: You must identify the caliber of your waitress’ work habits and/or style. Silly as it seems, this is essential to preparing yourself to pounce on her, as various waitresses require various methods of amusement. Second, when entering your waitress’ restaurant, wait a few minutes and stall (i.e. making a pretend phone call, finishing up the front page of the newspaper) as you casually observe what tables your waitress is tending. When you’ve made a good enough guess at her specific section, ask nonchalantly to be seated therein.

The New Girl

If your wanted woman fumbles, nervously glances around, forgets a few drinks and fidgets in the presence of her manager, she’s new (i.e. you have nothing to worry about). New waitresses are thrown into a wildly unorganized world of pain and, therefore, are terribly vulnerable. The best way to win over your new waitress is by offering some comfort in a time when everyone is consumed with condemning her abilities and she herself can’t stop worrying about when or how she will be fired. When she wades over to your table, say “Thank You” always. When she takes you order, smile and say “And please don’t rush, I can see how busy you are by yourself over here.”

Continue to make casual, reassuring comments throughout your meal and soon she’ll be eager to visit, if only to hear what comfort you have to offer next. When at last the bill rolls around, you should say: “You know, I hope I’m not being presumptuous here, but I’d love to sit down to dinner with you sometime soon where someone else is waiting on you.” Waitresses work hard and like very much the idea of restaurants where they don’t work. If you’re too nervous to disrupt her in the middle of her anxious discourse, leave a note with your tips that communicates a similar sentiment (and, of course, your phone number). Remember, new waitresses are most often young, non-locals looking for companionship (meaning – it couldn’t take more than one or two dinners to offer her your company…in bed).

The Sassy Sort

Some waitresses, quite oppositely, are thoughtlessly sure of themselves. If you notice your waitress never misses a mark, constantly manages to run around without appearing disheveled and dazed and memorizes your order without notepad and pen, she’s seasoned. Moreover, if you observe her briskness to be matched by a brushing off of any flirtation or flattery from any customer, she’s sassy. Sassy waitresses are somewhat common and slightly more difficult to sleep with, as they are consistently prepared for piles of flirtatious men. What they’re not prepared for is men who can seemingly read their minds (or at least create the illusion of such). This means flattering her in a creative way. Instead of smiling and asking for frequent refills and ogling her uniform, admire her.

When she next comes to your table, toss out a nonchalant comment in the vain of: “I’m sorry if this sounds bizarre, but you’re an incredibly skilled waitress. I’ve never seen everything go so smoothly. I only say this because it’s super busy and I try to imagine what a mess I’d be.” Here, she’ll probably roll her eyes. Then say something like: “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I’m sure you’re used to a lot of guys hitting on you. That’s not what I meant. Though, I can see why…” Don’t say anything more – Sassy waitresses appreciate the sultrier, more silent, hard-to-get-type men, so just turn back to your paper or blackberry and pretend she’s already left you. This then means leaving a little note with a big tip, reading: “Okay, so maybe I was hitting on you…while simultaneously being impressed. Still, you should call me.” Women of this type will find such frankness quite adorable and intriguing. After all, they’re used to scoundrels slobbering over them instead of sly lads like yourself.

In Case Of Ignored Motes/Advances

If a note or offer is ignored by a waitress, don’t feel discouraged and determine never to return to the restaurant. On the contrary, make an effort to go back. She’s probably just suspicious of strangers and random notes. If she sees you again and you shamelessly smile, politely nod and request a table in her section, she’ll begin to think you’re a well-intentioned gentleman who simply happens to find her attractive. If you’re the confident sort, who feels he has nothing to lose, say to her “Hello, again,” when she approaches your table. If she doesn’t remember you, remind her, “Oh, I’m just the guy who asked you out and who you probably thought was a creep. Sorry ‘bout that.” Your casualness will make her feel comfortable in letting up a little. If she does remember you, she’ll feel as relaxed as you do. (Translation: be very relaxed). You may actually have more of a chance the second time around, so don’t back down. (NOTE: Another thing not to do: Ask her “When does your shift end, sweetie?” It’s a line she’s heard a thousand times and, moreover, a real lame one).

The post How To Get A Waitress Go With You appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1550312944) } [1]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(32) "Older Women Versus Younger Women" ["link"]=> string(71) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/15/older-women-versus-younger-women/" ["comments"]=> string(79) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/15/older-women-versus-younger-women/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 15 Feb 2019 17:19:32 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(70) "InterestingLove & Sexinterestinglifetipsolderrelationshipswomenyounger" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1603" ["description"]=> string(609) "

Friends, the world of dating is like a well-stocked candy store. Forrest Gump would be proud. There’s a vast array of delicious treats in every imaginable color, flavor and size, which, at first glance, can be at once scintillating and overwhelming. After you get through the initial excitement of entering a glorious world of pure imagination, […]

The post Older Women Versus Younger Women appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(6172) "

Friends, the world of dating is like a well-stocked candy store. Forrest Gump would be proud. There’s a vast array of delicious treats in every imaginable color, flavor and size, which, at first glance, can be at once scintillating and overwhelming. After you get through the initial excitement of entering a glorious world of pure imagination, though, you realize that there are certain things you’ll always gravitate to – saltwater taffy and nut clusters for some, gummy peaches and Milky Way Darks for others – leaving all the other candy to wonder what it did wrong because you bought it a few times and then abandoned it for sweeter pastures.

There’s no magic formula for the ideal age difference between partners (only you know what you like at the proverbial candy store), but besides physical, emotional and intellectual traits, age often plays a significant role in the success (or failure) of relationships. There are some reliable truths about what it’s like to date an older woman versus what you’ll experience with a younger one, and who better to bring you these truths than your friendly neighborhood truth-brokers? We wouldn’t presume to steer you away from the M&M wall towards the Jujubes, but we can give you the basics about each and let you decide for yourself what suits your sweet tooth.

The Older Woman

Let’s dispense with the clichés before we go any further. Older women are (often) more experienced in the boudoir, they (often) need less coddling than younger women because they’ve had some time to figure out their feelings and whatnot, and they (often) like to take a leadership role in the relationship, whether fiscally or otherwise. These are all good things for a certain type of gent, the type who is comfortable with a woman who rakes in more dough each month than he does and might not want children because she either already has them or long ago discovered that she’s just not the mothering type. However, if you like to call the shots in a relationship, or if you want someone to experience your ‘firsts’ with, then you might find it frustrating to date someone significantly older than you.

The thing to remember about clichés is that although they’re based in truth, they’re also often gross generalizations that aren’t true of even half of an entire population. If you’re all, ‘damn, I should TOTALLY be dating a cougar because she won’t force me to feel feelings,’ then slow your roll, son, and think twice before jumping into that antique bed. Yes, many (if not most) older women (…and we aren’t talking about two or three years here, more like 10 or 15) have abandoned the hormonal rollercoaster for more even-tempered pastures, and if they’re interested in a younger dude, then they probably aren’t looking to rush to the altar any time soon. Or ever. But there’s also the distinct possibility that an older woman has been looking for Mr. Right for a while, and that your youthful, shall we say, ‘vigor’ is just the thing she needs to be convinced that you’re The One. Because she’s older, she will most likely be more than ready to set the date and settle down, so unless you’re romancing a legit twice-divorced cougar who really only wants you as a bedbuddy, you should beware the suddenly-serious relationship that ends with you in a tux. Unless, of course, that’s what you want.

The Younger Woman

If you’re the type of dude who took a little longer than most to ‘grow up’ and ‘get his sh** together,’ then don’t apologize; just date a younger woman who will look up to you as a role model despite the fact that you’re still living in a tricked-out bachelor pad at the ripe ol’ age of 48. You’re happy with your life choices, so it makes sense to date someone who can be happy with them too. Younger women often have high energy and low expectations (for marriage and children, that is), making them ideal companions for anyone who wants to relive his youth or prolong the youth he’s been re-living for the past few decades. She might have three roommates and a part-time job, but if you’re looking for someone to dote lovingly and lavish gifts upon, then a younger woman might just be for you.

What you won’t get with a younger woman, for the most part, is life experience, and, depending on your age difference, the understanding of a shared history. This doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker – in fact, sometimes it’s a welcome respite from the stress of dealing with people your own age/bitterness level – but it can result in worldviews different enough to make a true partnership almost impossible.

When all is said and done, the right woman for you, no matter what her age, is the one who turns your wheels and makes you excited to face the world. (This post began with sugar; it seems only fitting to end it with some saccharine.) Keep in mind, though, that even though age is only a number, it’s also a pretty fair predictor of what you can and can’t expect from a potential mate.

 

The post Older Women Versus Younger Women appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(76) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/15/older-women-versus-younger-women/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(609) "

Friends, the world of dating is like a well-stocked candy store. Forrest Gump would be proud. There’s a vast array of delicious treats in every imaginable color, flavor and size, which, at first glance, can be at once scintillating and overwhelming. After you get through the initial excitement of entering a glorious world of pure imagination, […]

The post Older Women Versus Younger Women appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(6172) "

Friends, the world of dating is like a well-stocked candy store. Forrest Gump would be proud. There’s a vast array of delicious treats in every imaginable color, flavor and size, which, at first glance, can be at once scintillating and overwhelming. After you get through the initial excitement of entering a glorious world of pure imagination, though, you realize that there are certain things you’ll always gravitate to – saltwater taffy and nut clusters for some, gummy peaches and Milky Way Darks for others – leaving all the other candy to wonder what it did wrong because you bought it a few times and then abandoned it for sweeter pastures.

There’s no magic formula for the ideal age difference between partners (only you know what you like at the proverbial candy store), but besides physical, emotional and intellectual traits, age often plays a significant role in the success (or failure) of relationships. There are some reliable truths about what it’s like to date an older woman versus what you’ll experience with a younger one, and who better to bring you these truths than your friendly neighborhood truth-brokers? We wouldn’t presume to steer you away from the M&M wall towards the Jujubes, but we can give you the basics about each and let you decide for yourself what suits your sweet tooth.

The Older Woman

Let’s dispense with the clichés before we go any further. Older women are (often) more experienced in the boudoir, they (often) need less coddling than younger women because they’ve had some time to figure out their feelings and whatnot, and they (often) like to take a leadership role in the relationship, whether fiscally or otherwise. These are all good things for a certain type of gent, the type who is comfortable with a woman who rakes in more dough each month than he does and might not want children because she either already has them or long ago discovered that she’s just not the mothering type. However, if you like to call the shots in a relationship, or if you want someone to experience your ‘firsts’ with, then you might find it frustrating to date someone significantly older than you.

The thing to remember about clichés is that although they’re based in truth, they’re also often gross generalizations that aren’t true of even half of an entire population. If you’re all, ‘damn, I should TOTALLY be dating a cougar because she won’t force me to feel feelings,’ then slow your roll, son, and think twice before jumping into that antique bed. Yes, many (if not most) older women (…and we aren’t talking about two or three years here, more like 10 or 15) have abandoned the hormonal rollercoaster for more even-tempered pastures, and if they’re interested in a younger dude, then they probably aren’t looking to rush to the altar any time soon. Or ever. But there’s also the distinct possibility that an older woman has been looking for Mr. Right for a while, and that your youthful, shall we say, ‘vigor’ is just the thing she needs to be convinced that you’re The One. Because she’s older, she will most likely be more than ready to set the date and settle down, so unless you’re romancing a legit twice-divorced cougar who really only wants you as a bedbuddy, you should beware the suddenly-serious relationship that ends with you in a tux. Unless, of course, that’s what you want.

The Younger Woman

If you’re the type of dude who took a little longer than most to ‘grow up’ and ‘get his sh** together,’ then don’t apologize; just date a younger woman who will look up to you as a role model despite the fact that you’re still living in a tricked-out bachelor pad at the ripe ol’ age of 48. You’re happy with your life choices, so it makes sense to date someone who can be happy with them too. Younger women often have high energy and low expectations (for marriage and children, that is), making them ideal companions for anyone who wants to relive his youth or prolong the youth he’s been re-living for the past few decades. She might have three roommates and a part-time job, but if you’re looking for someone to dote lovingly and lavish gifts upon, then a younger woman might just be for you.

What you won’t get with a younger woman, for the most part, is life experience, and, depending on your age difference, the understanding of a shared history. This doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker – in fact, sometimes it’s a welcome respite from the stress of dealing with people your own age/bitterness level – but it can result in worldviews different enough to make a true partnership almost impossible.

When all is said and done, the right woman for you, no matter what her age, is the one who turns your wheels and makes you excited to face the world. (This post began with sugar; it seems only fitting to end it with some saccharine.) Keep in mind, though, that even though age is only a number, it’s also a pretty fair predictor of what you can and can’t expect from a potential mate.

 

The post Older Women Versus Younger Women appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1550251172) } [2]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(30) "A Guide to Your Future Divorce" ["link"]=> string(69) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/15/a-guide-to-your-future-divorce/" ["comments"]=> string(77) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/15/a-guide-to-your-future-divorce/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 15 Feb 2019 11:37:01 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(75) "Dating IssuesFriends And FamilyadvicebreakupsDivorceexpertguidehow toissues" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1599" ["description"]=> string(599) "

One of my friends who have made good livings over the years, I’m probably the most financially secure. I’ve invested well. But more importantly, I’ve never been married. Unlike so many of my peers, I’ve never been “halved” in a marital dissolution. But this doesn’t mean I don’t have experience with the topic. It seems that […]

The post A Guide to Your Future Divorce appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(9342) "

One of my friends who have made good livings over the years, I’m probably the most financially secure. I’ve invested well. But more importantly, I’ve never been married. Unlike so many of my peers, I’ve never been “halved” in a marital dissolution. But this doesn’t mean I don’t have experience with the topic. It seems that now, in my forties, I’m witnessing as many of my buddies grinding through tough breakups as I watched strippers grind on those same guys during perfunctory lap dances at bachelor parties in our twenties and thirties. Most of these friends look to me for advice, and I do my best to offer it. But I’ve realized that I could be a better friend—and satisfy my own curiosity—if I sought out answers from an expert. So I recently sat down with a prominent divorce attorney who’s represented high-profile clients in the Los Angeles area for more than 40 years. Rick (not his real name) walked me through many lessons that can be learned from the drama and pain he encounters daily.

If a man is getting married, what should he be thinking about?

The first thing is how compatible their value systems are. The second thing is, what does he have to protect and would a premarital agreement work for them? In a premarital agreement, we can figure out the ‘what if’ and how it would work.

If you want to cap spousal support at a certain amount because your career has already been built up, you can do that. Let’s say you take a ball player who has a $10 million contract, and he got that contract because of his years of training and playing. That career has to be protected financially from the standpoint of earning power. Sponsorship income can be carved out, because that’s really for past services. If you have a career that precedes the marriage, you could be contributing your separate-property career to a community-property bank account, and that’s not something you necessarily want to do.

“There is no contract that has been rewritten by the courts more than premarital agreements.”

What if a guy has a small business, and his spouse doesn’t have anything?

The person would want to protect that asset. If there were a prenup, his interest in the business could remain separate, but the salary he takes out of the business can be community property. So, if the business is sold down-the-line, that doesn’t become community property, including the increased value of the business. You’ll have a valuation of assets that were acquired before marriage and it will be disclosed and there will be wording that protects separate property.

Can people get around a prenup during a divorce?

A judge can throw out a premarital agreement if it is “unfair” at the time of enforcement; or, if the disclosures were not correct; or, if it were instituted under duress; or, if one person lacked capacity when they entered the agreement. Let’s say the woman had six children at the time of enforcement, but the premarital agreement had a waiver of spousal support. I think a judge could throw out that waiver. There is no contract that has been rewritten by the courts more than premarital agreements.

This makes me wonder what I should do if I were going to live with someone, as I have in the past and could conceivably do again. Should I have something in writing with them?
I think that’s very important but many people can’t get themselves to propose that type of an agreement because they are saying to the person they want to live with, “Let’s live together to see how we get along,” without any promises.

“Anyone can sue for anything. There’s always someone out there who’s going to take the case. You’re really better off having an agreement.”

What could happen if I didn’t have a pre-cohabitation agreement, or whatever it’s called?

If she gets sick, you’re putting yourself in jeopardy because she’s not working; or if she lost her job and you’re taking care of her. Those are the kinds of things that can be very harmful, economically. She could have potential rights of a quasi-contractual relationship, based on promises and how you held yourself out to the public. If there were letters at Valentine’s Day or Christmas or birthdays, saying “I’ll always care for you and I will love you forever…” and you were providing her with important things like cars or anything that puts you together contractually; then chances are you would be approached to give her money to get reestablished. It’s a risk issue. Anyone can sue for anything. There’s always someone out there who is going to take her case. It’s the cost of a potential loss and the cost of legal fees. So you’re better off settling. You’re really better off having an agreement.”

If someone wants out of his marriage, what should he do?

He should see a divorce lawyer, right away. The first thing we would do is create a binder of all assets and liabilities and all income and the sources of the assets, whether they were separate or community; whether or not there was deferred income, so we would get an understanding of what child support would be and what spousal support would be. Child support is pretty easy, because there’s a computer program that tells you what a judge is going to be looking at. With no children, it’s usually easier, especially if it’s a longer-term marriage, say 12 years [shorter marriages usually pay support for a set amount of time; if it’s longer term, it can go on indefinitely].

If a man is leaving his wife for someone else, does that change anything?

It will change the anger level. It will not change the law. However, if he has given community property to that person, that community property can be clawed back.

Should a man tell his wife that he’s leaving her for someone else?

I would wait to determine whether or not it was necessary to tell her. But I wouldn’t lie to her if she said, “I know there was someone else in your life.” I would be very careful about how I would respond to those questions. He should keep things as calm as possible and not aggravate the situation.

“In my 38-year-marriage, I’ve learned what not to do.”

In addition to wanting to lessen the aggravation, a big concern for most entering a divorce process is limiting their legal bills. What advice could you give someone on how they can keep their costs down?

By being organized. They have to fill out a form of their expenses, and the lawyer needs to back it up. I have had people show up with a grocery bag full of receipts and expected me to figure it out. That just costs a lot of money to unravel. And secondly, by being in communication with your attorney and not being an absent client. It’s impossible to represent an empty chair.

Many of my friends have complained about their divorce attorneys. What are the signs that you aren’t being represented well?

How well your attorney listens to you is number one. I’ve seen lawyers take conference calls while with a client or multitask: Write emails, text, et cetera. It’s very obvious when they have their mind on other things instead of being there for a client. If the attorney is too busy to put the time into their case, then it is time to leave. And it is better to leave sooner than later. Also, many lawyers love to write self-serving inflammatory letters [to the other side]. They do it for control and to create situations that will generate more fees. There are people out there who are just nasty, and they think that’s how the game should be played.

What have you learned as a divorce attorney that you’ve brought into your 38-year marriage?

Well, I’ve learned what not to do. If you can get the point across that I’m not right, necessarily, and you’re not right, necessarily, then we can discuss things and get to the middle and try and work things out so it’s not a burr-under-the-saddle kind of situation. Some of the smallest things can be blown out of proportion and make things uncomfortable.

That is the best guidance Rick gave me. Maybe if more people could simply do a little more to not let marital problems explode, they wouldn’t have to go through all of this costly unpleasantness. Still, I think I’ll take a wide berth of it all and remain unmarried.

The post A Guide to Your Future Divorce appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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One of my friends who have made good livings over the years, I’m probably the most financially secure. I’ve invested well. But more importantly, I’ve never been married. Unlike so many of my peers, I’ve never been “halved” in a marital dissolution. But this doesn’t mean I don’t have experience with the topic. It seems that […]

The post A Guide to Your Future Divorce appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(9342) "

One of my friends who have made good livings over the years, I’m probably the most financially secure. I’ve invested well. But more importantly, I’ve never been married. Unlike so many of my peers, I’ve never been “halved” in a marital dissolution. But this doesn’t mean I don’t have experience with the topic. It seems that now, in my forties, I’m witnessing as many of my buddies grinding through tough breakups as I watched strippers grind on those same guys during perfunctory lap dances at bachelor parties in our twenties and thirties. Most of these friends look to me for advice, and I do my best to offer it. But I’ve realized that I could be a better friend—and satisfy my own curiosity—if I sought out answers from an expert. So I recently sat down with a prominent divorce attorney who’s represented high-profile clients in the Los Angeles area for more than 40 years. Rick (not his real name) walked me through many lessons that can be learned from the drama and pain he encounters daily.

If a man is getting married, what should he be thinking about?

The first thing is how compatible their value systems are. The second thing is, what does he have to protect and would a premarital agreement work for them? In a premarital agreement, we can figure out the ‘what if’ and how it would work.

If you want to cap spousal support at a certain amount because your career has already been built up, you can do that. Let’s say you take a ball player who has a $10 million contract, and he got that contract because of his years of training and playing. That career has to be protected financially from the standpoint of earning power. Sponsorship income can be carved out, because that’s really for past services. If you have a career that precedes the marriage, you could be contributing your separate-property career to a community-property bank account, and that’s not something you necessarily want to do.

“There is no contract that has been rewritten by the courts more than premarital agreements.”

What if a guy has a small business, and his spouse doesn’t have anything?

The person would want to protect that asset. If there were a prenup, his interest in the business could remain separate, but the salary he takes out of the business can be community property. So, if the business is sold down-the-line, that doesn’t become community property, including the increased value of the business. You’ll have a valuation of assets that were acquired before marriage and it will be disclosed and there will be wording that protects separate property.

Can people get around a prenup during a divorce?

A judge can throw out a premarital agreement if it is “unfair” at the time of enforcement; or, if the disclosures were not correct; or, if it were instituted under duress; or, if one person lacked capacity when they entered the agreement. Let’s say the woman had six children at the time of enforcement, but the premarital agreement had a waiver of spousal support. I think a judge could throw out that waiver. There is no contract that has been rewritten by the courts more than premarital agreements.

This makes me wonder what I should do if I were going to live with someone, as I have in the past and could conceivably do again. Should I have something in writing with them?
I think that’s very important but many people can’t get themselves to propose that type of an agreement because they are saying to the person they want to live with, “Let’s live together to see how we get along,” without any promises.

“Anyone can sue for anything. There’s always someone out there who’s going to take the case. You’re really better off having an agreement.”

What could happen if I didn’t have a pre-cohabitation agreement, or whatever it’s called?

If she gets sick, you’re putting yourself in jeopardy because she’s not working; or if she lost her job and you’re taking care of her. Those are the kinds of things that can be very harmful, economically. She could have potential rights of a quasi-contractual relationship, based on promises and how you held yourself out to the public. If there were letters at Valentine’s Day or Christmas or birthdays, saying “I’ll always care for you and I will love you forever…” and you were providing her with important things like cars or anything that puts you together contractually; then chances are you would be approached to give her money to get reestablished. It’s a risk issue. Anyone can sue for anything. There’s always someone out there who is going to take her case. It’s the cost of a potential loss and the cost of legal fees. So you’re better off settling. You’re really better off having an agreement.”

If someone wants out of his marriage, what should he do?

He should see a divorce lawyer, right away. The first thing we would do is create a binder of all assets and liabilities and all income and the sources of the assets, whether they were separate or community; whether or not there was deferred income, so we would get an understanding of what child support would be and what spousal support would be. Child support is pretty easy, because there’s a computer program that tells you what a judge is going to be looking at. With no children, it’s usually easier, especially if it’s a longer-term marriage, say 12 years [shorter marriages usually pay support for a set amount of time; if it’s longer term, it can go on indefinitely].

If a man is leaving his wife for someone else, does that change anything?

It will change the anger level. It will not change the law. However, if he has given community property to that person, that community property can be clawed back.

Should a man tell his wife that he’s leaving her for someone else?

I would wait to determine whether or not it was necessary to tell her. But I wouldn’t lie to her if she said, “I know there was someone else in your life.” I would be very careful about how I would respond to those questions. He should keep things as calm as possible and not aggravate the situation.

“In my 38-year-marriage, I’ve learned what not to do.”

In addition to wanting to lessen the aggravation, a big concern for most entering a divorce process is limiting their legal bills. What advice could you give someone on how they can keep their costs down?

By being organized. They have to fill out a form of their expenses, and the lawyer needs to back it up. I have had people show up with a grocery bag full of receipts and expected me to figure it out. That just costs a lot of money to unravel. And secondly, by being in communication with your attorney and not being an absent client. It’s impossible to represent an empty chair.

Many of my friends have complained about their divorce attorneys. What are the signs that you aren’t being represented well?

How well your attorney listens to you is number one. I’ve seen lawyers take conference calls while with a client or multitask: Write emails, text, et cetera. It’s very obvious when they have their mind on other things instead of being there for a client. If the attorney is too busy to put the time into their case, then it is time to leave. And it is better to leave sooner than later. Also, many lawyers love to write self-serving inflammatory letters [to the other side]. They do it for control and to create situations that will generate more fees. There are people out there who are just nasty, and they think that’s how the game should be played.

What have you learned as a divorce attorney that you’ve brought into your 38-year marriage?

Well, I’ve learned what not to do. If you can get the point across that I’m not right, necessarily, and you’re not right, necessarily, then we can discuss things and get to the middle and try and work things out so it’s not a burr-under-the-saddle kind of situation. Some of the smallest things can be blown out of proportion and make things uncomfortable.

That is the best guidance Rick gave me. Maybe if more people could simply do a little more to not let marital problems explode, they wouldn’t have to go through all of this costly unpleasantness. Still, I think I’ll take a wide berth of it all and remain unmarried.

The post A Guide to Your Future Divorce appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1550230621) } [3]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(54) "Love Challenge For Couples: Improve Your Relationships" ["link"]=> string(92) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/15/love-challenge-for-couples-improve-your-relationships/" ["comments"]=> string(101) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/15/love-challenge-for-couples-improve-your-relationships/#comments" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 15 Feb 2019 11:13:22 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(53) "Dating Issuesadvicechallengelifetipsloverelationships" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1596" ["description"]=> string(605) "

Day 1: Envision your future. One of the best conversations I’ve ever had my wife started like this: “Imagine your ideal life. Now tell me about it.” The idea is, let’s explore how we want to be living five or ten years from now. You could have a number of questions to steer the conversation: […]

The post Love Challenge For Couples: Improve Your Relationships appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(6297) "

Day 1: Envision your future.

One of the best conversations I’ve ever had my wife started like this: “Imagine your ideal life. Now tell me about it.” The idea is, let’s explore how we want to be living five or ten years from now. You could have a number of questions to steer the conversation: Where do we wake up? What does our house look like? What are we doing for work? What is it about the work we enjoy? How much do we earn? Who are our friends? What kind of things do we do for fun? This allows you get the inside track on the outcomes your partner wants for her life. It gives you an invaluable insight into the person, and she’ll be really receptive toward being asked in a way she hasn’t been asked before. She’ll more than likely ask the same questions back, and you can see where your ultimate goals are and aren’t aligned. It may sound all business, but it’s important.

Day 2: Do goals worksheets together.

To paraphrase Woody Allen , relationships are like sharks— they have to keep moving or they die. Going somewhere within a relationship is important: You should have goals to achieve together and separately. Those benchmarks don’t have to align, but they should be complemetary. (Like, ahem, having kids.) In Day 1, you established your vision. On Day 2, discuss how you’re going to get there. Goals won’t seem so daunting if you divide things into waystations, like Health, Career and Personal. For example: If you want to earn $200,000 in ten years and you earn $50,000 now, what do you need to be earning in five years? Once you have these waystations in place, your path to reaching the destination you discussed in day one will become more clear. Write your goals down and revisit them every six months to check your progress. Being in a successful relationship isn’t about sacrificing your dreams, just making sure they’re harmonious. (And cut yourself some slack: Goals should have a 50% likelihood of not being realized. The idea is to push yourself.)

Day 3: Keep things novel

Today, try a shared experience that neither of you have done before. Women crave novelty, and one reason relationships sink into the doldrums is that couples do the same thing again and again. There’s a lot of science behind adventure dates: Excitement-Transfer Theory (or ETT) holds that when you do something exciting with someone, they transfer their excitement to you. Any guy who’s ever given a girl a ride on the back of his motorcycle benefits from ETT. It doesn’t have to be something dangerous, just some a bit thrilling with perhaps an element of risk. You’re establishing yourself as a source of excitement, even if you just suggested it or are along for the ride. And it works both ways. If you’re in a situation you’ve never in, you’ll see a different side of her personality.

Day 4: Do something selfless.

Gift her something that’s all about her: A massage, a spa treatment, a yoga class pack or something else that’ll make her feel good. I started doing that with my wife recently; being the practical type, she can’t stand spending money frivolously. But when I bought her a salon treatments, she said, “Oh God, I’ve wanted to do this all the time.” She loved it because she wouldn’t have done it for herself, and she didn’t have to do anything but sit back and enjoy it. Do things that show you cherish her, and she’ll feel better about her you. You should want her to feel her the best all the time—your relationship is the best when she’s feeling great.

Day 5: Establish a hierarchy of asks.

Recently, my wife and I had a fight because on a night out, I was grumpy in front of her friends. I was tired and stressed from work and couldn’t perform the way she wanted to. We talked it through and established that we don’t ask each other many things, so when we do ask for something, we should know that it’s significant. Ask her what she wishes you would do (or do differently) or like. Figure out how important that is to her. Figure out where you can change. And make sure the conversation goes both ways.

Day 6: Change your perspective on her idiosyncracies.

I’m a bit of a neat freak, and I used to moan about my wife not being tidy or closing kitchen drawers. Then I learned to appreciate these inconsequential quirks. It’s really being accepting of someone’s core: “Oh well—she’s just not going to be a certain way; Is that a dealbreaker, or is it something I can learn to live with and appreciate?” Another example: My wife is stubborn about socializing. On occasion, it drives me crazy. But I’ve learned to admire that she doesn’t do things out of social obligation. Yet another example: I love to sleep in on the weekend, and she never has. She’s always up early doing things around the house and waking me up to get. On one hand, I’d like to lie in. On the other hand, I admire her spirit and energy for getting things done. Instead of lamenting that I wasn’t getting to sleep in, I started thinking, “Look at my amazing wife, she’s getting things done.” The only thing that changed was my perspective.

Day 7: Honor the part of her that’s sexual.

Too often, sex becomes a perfunctory thing that’s done during commercial breaks. Today, have an honest conversation about desire. Have a conversation that tickles her intellectual G-spot: Who’s her celebrity crush? What does imagine it would be like to meet him? What does she like about him? It’s a harmless conversation that gets her thinking about sexual agency and autonomy in a safe way. Separate your own ego from it. You have desires, and she has desires. Work them out together, and your relationship will only get stronger.

The post Love Challenge For Couples: Improve Your Relationships appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Day 1: Envision your future. One of the best conversations I’ve ever had my wife started like this: “Imagine your ideal life. Now tell me about it.” The idea is, let’s explore how we want to be living five or ten years from now. You could have a number of questions to steer the conversation: […]

The post Love Challenge For Couples: Improve Your Relationships appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(6297) "

Day 1: Envision your future.

One of the best conversations I’ve ever had my wife started like this: “Imagine your ideal life. Now tell me about it.” The idea is, let’s explore how we want to be living five or ten years from now. You could have a number of questions to steer the conversation: Where do we wake up? What does our house look like? What are we doing for work? What is it about the work we enjoy? How much do we earn? Who are our friends? What kind of things do we do for fun? This allows you get the inside track on the outcomes your partner wants for her life. It gives you an invaluable insight into the person, and she’ll be really receptive toward being asked in a way she hasn’t been asked before. She’ll more than likely ask the same questions back, and you can see where your ultimate goals are and aren’t aligned. It may sound all business, but it’s important.

Day 2: Do goals worksheets together.

To paraphrase Woody Allen , relationships are like sharks— they have to keep moving or they die. Going somewhere within a relationship is important: You should have goals to achieve together and separately. Those benchmarks don’t have to align, but they should be complemetary. (Like, ahem, having kids.) In Day 1, you established your vision. On Day 2, discuss how you’re going to get there. Goals won’t seem so daunting if you divide things into waystations, like Health, Career and Personal. For example: If you want to earn $200,000 in ten years and you earn $50,000 now, what do you need to be earning in five years? Once you have these waystations in place, your path to reaching the destination you discussed in day one will become more clear. Write your goals down and revisit them every six months to check your progress. Being in a successful relationship isn’t about sacrificing your dreams, just making sure they’re harmonious. (And cut yourself some slack: Goals should have a 50% likelihood of not being realized. The idea is to push yourself.)

Day 3: Keep things novel

Today, try a shared experience that neither of you have done before. Women crave novelty, and one reason relationships sink into the doldrums is that couples do the same thing again and again. There’s a lot of science behind adventure dates: Excitement-Transfer Theory (or ETT) holds that when you do something exciting with someone, they transfer their excitement to you. Any guy who’s ever given a girl a ride on the back of his motorcycle benefits from ETT. It doesn’t have to be something dangerous, just some a bit thrilling with perhaps an element of risk. You’re establishing yourself as a source of excitement, even if you just suggested it or are along for the ride. And it works both ways. If you’re in a situation you’ve never in, you’ll see a different side of her personality.

Day 4: Do something selfless.

Gift her something that’s all about her: A massage, a spa treatment, a yoga class pack or something else that’ll make her feel good. I started doing that with my wife recently; being the practical type, she can’t stand spending money frivolously. But when I bought her a salon treatments, she said, “Oh God, I’ve wanted to do this all the time.” She loved it because she wouldn’t have done it for herself, and she didn’t have to do anything but sit back and enjoy it. Do things that show you cherish her, and she’ll feel better about her you. You should want her to feel her the best all the time—your relationship is the best when she’s feeling great.

Day 5: Establish a hierarchy of asks.

Recently, my wife and I had a fight because on a night out, I was grumpy in front of her friends. I was tired and stressed from work and couldn’t perform the way she wanted to. We talked it through and established that we don’t ask each other many things, so when we do ask for something, we should know that it’s significant. Ask her what she wishes you would do (or do differently) or like. Figure out how important that is to her. Figure out where you can change. And make sure the conversation goes both ways.

Day 6: Change your perspective on her idiosyncracies.

I’m a bit of a neat freak, and I used to moan about my wife not being tidy or closing kitchen drawers. Then I learned to appreciate these inconsequential quirks. It’s really being accepting of someone’s core: “Oh well—she’s just not going to be a certain way; Is that a dealbreaker, or is it something I can learn to live with and appreciate?” Another example: My wife is stubborn about socializing. On occasion, it drives me crazy. But I’ve learned to admire that she doesn’t do things out of social obligation. Yet another example: I love to sleep in on the weekend, and she never has. She’s always up early doing things around the house and waking me up to get. On one hand, I’d like to lie in. On the other hand, I admire her spirit and energy for getting things done. Instead of lamenting that I wasn’t getting to sleep in, I started thinking, “Look at my amazing wife, she’s getting things done.” The only thing that changed was my perspective.

Day 7: Honor the part of her that’s sexual.

Too often, sex becomes a perfunctory thing that’s done during commercial breaks. Today, have an honest conversation about desire. Have a conversation that tickles her intellectual G-spot: Who’s her celebrity crush? What does imagine it would be like to meet him? What does she like about him? It’s a harmless conversation that gets her thinking about sexual agency and autonomy in a safe way. Separate your own ego from it. You have desires, and she has desires. Work them out together, and your relationship will only get stronger.

The post Love Challenge For Couples: Improve Your Relationships appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1550229202) } [4]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(33) "Fail! The 7 Worst Ways To Propose" ["link"]=> string(71) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/15/fail-the-7-worst-ways-to-propose/" ["comments"]=> string(79) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/15/fail-the-7-worst-ways-to-propose/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 15 Feb 2019 10:52:59 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(76) "InterestingLove & SexfailinterestingProposalProposerelationshipsweddingworst" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1585" ["description"]=> string(548) "

Spring is a popular time for guys to get down on one knee. There are plenty of ways to do so — and the guy above seems to have it right—but lots of those ways are, well, bad. So if you are on the verge of popping the question, read through these major proposal don’ts. They’ll […]

The post Fail! The 7 Worst Ways To Propose appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(6456) "

Spring is a popular time for guys to get down on one knee. There are plenty of ways to do so — and the guy above seems to have it right—but lots of those ways are, well, bad.

So if you are on the verge of popping the question, read through these major proposal don’ts. They’ll help you avoid awkwardness, embarrassment or, at worst, a “no.”

1. Surrounded by complete strangers

Note: if you’re a future NFL millionaire, do whatever you want.

A proposal should be between the two people involved. It shouldn’t involve strangers, even as spectators. Something about a high-wattage proposal (say, on the kiss cam at a Bulls game or with the help of a flash mob in Grand Central Station) tells me it’s more about the show you’re putting on than the question you’re popping. Do you feel strongly about spending the rest of your life with your girlfriend, or do you just want to star in YouTube hit? When it comes down to it, you should be able to speak from the heart without a bunch of hoopla speaking for you.

2. In the workplace

The workplace rule applies even if your workplace is reality TV. Case in point.

I’ve seen proposals done in conference rooms via PowerPoint. I’ve seen a proposal done via an online ad. Work is work. Life is life. Sure, sometimes they mix, but it’s still completely crazy to, for example, make your proposal an advertising pitch because you work in advertising. Add in your coworkers as an audience, and you’ve really crossed the line. That’s not romantic—it’s a to-do list item you completed between conference calls. Your (potential) marriage is part of your personal life, not your professional life—your proposal should be as well.

3. In front of friends and family

We don’t even know where to start here.

I get it. You want to share the happiness of your engagement with those closest to you and your new fiancée. But you can do that after the whole down-on-one-knee part. I can’t stress it enough: a proposal is an intimate, private experience, not one in which you can hear your dad and sister whispering their excitement in the background.

4. Without some second opinions

Someone should be aware that this proposal is coming. It’s a good idea to chat with one of your lady’s close friends or family members ahead of time, for a few reasons. First, if you’re completely off base with this big step, it’s likely a close friend or family member would know. Second, most fathers appreciate a heads up, and she’ll be touched when she finds out you asked for her hand. And third, unless you’re a jewelry expert, you probably need some help picking out the hardware. You don’t want to choose an awful ring that doesn’t suit the love of your life, right?

5. As a complete surprise

She never saw it coming—and that’s not exactly a good thing.

This is the real world. An out-of-nowhere, shockingly unexpected proposal is, well, Disney. If you haven’t yet had “the talk”—an honest conversation about what you both want out of the relationship—you really have no business proposing.

6. In or around food

This move is a recipe for misfortune. See what we did there?

Diamond rings hidden in bread rolls or chocolate cake were popular, oh, ten years ago. Now, it’s just cheesy (no pun intended). You’re better than that, right? Leave the food for eating and think of a classier way to present the jewelry (say, with your hand?).

7. Remotely

Tommy pulled out all the stops for his new movie, Skyfail.

Whatever method you choose, you’d better be there—in person—when it happens. That means no “pop in this DVD” video messages, no sky writing while she’s at the beach with friends, no FaceTime, and absolutely no sending the message (or, dear God, the ring) through a friend, family member or pet. If you can’t see each other when you’re popping the question, and if you can’t embrace when she says yes (fingers crossed!), then you’re going about this the wrong way. I don’t care if you’ve already hired a carrier pigeon—you’ve gotta trust me on this one.

The post Fail! The 7 Worst Ways To Propose appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(76) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/15/fail-the-7-worst-ways-to-propose/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(548) "

Spring is a popular time for guys to get down on one knee. There are plenty of ways to do so — and the guy above seems to have it right—but lots of those ways are, well, bad. So if you are on the verge of popping the question, read through these major proposal don’ts. They’ll […]

The post Fail! The 7 Worst Ways To Propose appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(6456) "

Spring is a popular time for guys to get down on one knee. There are plenty of ways to do so — and the guy above seems to have it right—but lots of those ways are, well, bad.

So if you are on the verge of popping the question, read through these major proposal don’ts. They’ll help you avoid awkwardness, embarrassment or, at worst, a “no.”

1. Surrounded by complete strangers

Note: if you’re a future NFL millionaire, do whatever you want.

A proposal should be between the two people involved. It shouldn’t involve strangers, even as spectators. Something about a high-wattage proposal (say, on the kiss cam at a Bulls game or with the help of a flash mob in Grand Central Station) tells me it’s more about the show you’re putting on than the question you’re popping. Do you feel strongly about spending the rest of your life with your girlfriend, or do you just want to star in YouTube hit? When it comes down to it, you should be able to speak from the heart without a bunch of hoopla speaking for you.

2. In the workplace

The workplace rule applies even if your workplace is reality TV. Case in point.

I’ve seen proposals done in conference rooms via PowerPoint. I’ve seen a proposal done via an online ad. Work is work. Life is life. Sure, sometimes they mix, but it’s still completely crazy to, for example, make your proposal an advertising pitch because you work in advertising. Add in your coworkers as an audience, and you’ve really crossed the line. That’s not romantic—it’s a to-do list item you completed between conference calls. Your (potential) marriage is part of your personal life, not your professional life—your proposal should be as well.

3. In front of friends and family

We don’t even know where to start here.

I get it. You want to share the happiness of your engagement with those closest to you and your new fiancée. But you can do that after the whole down-on-one-knee part. I can’t stress it enough: a proposal is an intimate, private experience, not one in which you can hear your dad and sister whispering their excitement in the background.

4. Without some second opinions

Someone should be aware that this proposal is coming. It’s a good idea to chat with one of your lady’s close friends or family members ahead of time, for a few reasons. First, if you’re completely off base with this big step, it’s likely a close friend or family member would know. Second, most fathers appreciate a heads up, and she’ll be touched when she finds out you asked for her hand. And third, unless you’re a jewelry expert, you probably need some help picking out the hardware. You don’t want to choose an awful ring that doesn’t suit the love of your life, right?

5. As a complete surprise

She never saw it coming—and that’s not exactly a good thing.

This is the real world. An out-of-nowhere, shockingly unexpected proposal is, well, Disney. If you haven’t yet had “the talk”—an honest conversation about what you both want out of the relationship—you really have no business proposing.

6. In or around food

This move is a recipe for misfortune. See what we did there?

Diamond rings hidden in bread rolls or chocolate cake were popular, oh, ten years ago. Now, it’s just cheesy (no pun intended). You’re better than that, right? Leave the food for eating and think of a classier way to present the jewelry (say, with your hand?).

7. Remotely

Tommy pulled out all the stops for his new movie, Skyfail.

Whatever method you choose, you’d better be there—in person—when it happens. That means no “pop in this DVD” video messages, no sky writing while she’s at the beach with friends, no FaceTime, and absolutely no sending the message (or, dear God, the ring) through a friend, family member or pet. If you can’t see each other when you’re popping the question, and if you can’t embrace when she says yes (fingers crossed!), then you’re going about this the wrong way. I don’t care if you’ve already hired a carrier pigeon—you’ve gotta trust me on this one.

The post Fail! The 7 Worst Ways To Propose appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1550227979) } [5]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(36) "Most Common Men’s Fashion Mistakes" ["link"]=> string(72) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/14/most-common-mens-fashion-mistakes/" ["comments"]=> string(80) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/14/most-common-mens-fashion-mistakes/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 14 Feb 2019 12:44:18 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(48) "Interestingbootsdenimfashionjacketsjeansmistakes" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1556" ["description"]=> string(589) "

There are certain things that cause even the most earthy and understanding of women to cringe and these things have to do, of course, with what you’re wearing. It’s not that women care only about what’s covering you up, but some items of mismatched clothing can so horribly distract a woman that she is incapable […]

The post Most Common Men’s Fashion Mistakes appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(7866) "

There are certain things that cause even the most earthy and understanding of women to cringe and these things have to do, of course, with what you’re wearing. It’s not that women care only about what’s covering you up, but some items of mismatched clothing can so horribly distract a woman that she is incapable of further checking you out (and making it further into your bedroom). To avoid unknowingly ruining your chances with an unsuspecting stranger, be sure to avoid the fashion faux pas listed below.

Socks and Tevas

Oh, goodness, this fashion F-up is legendary. When a woman looks down to survey the length of your limbs and sees, instead, the terrifying image of Teva sandals strapped over lumpy socks, she will barely be able to breathe. Unless you are taking the trash out or picking the newspaper off your front lawn clad in a bathrobe and bed head, please wear regular shoes.

Keeping Your Nose Clean

Upkeep of facial hair is no easy task for men and most women are fairly lenient in their evaluation of such regions. However, to have excess hair hanging out of your nostrils, because you’ve forgotten to clip them this week or simply because you don’t own a pair of small scissors, is inexcusable. Any woman interested in talking to you will be incapable of focusing on your features, preoccupied with the dangling fuzz of your nose. For the unenviable task of nose foliage maintainance, try the Phillips Body Groomer.

 

Denim on Denim

Bruce Springsteen may have made you think that Levi jeans and Levi jackets are splendid soul mates, but he couldn’t have been more incorrect. Denim on denim is a lost cause. If the denims match perfectly, you look like an urban cowboy (i.e. male prostitute). And if the denims are mismatched you look like the 90’s. Enough said. Don’t do it, unless you can do this:

 

 

Animal Accented Cowboy Boots

Lately, cowboy boots have come back to the fashion scene and this is highly unfortunate for anyone who likes to get laid (unless you’re some super hip, super famous Elvis of sorts). Snakeskin cowboy boots with rivets and silver heels only make you look like a strangely displaced, Southern imitator (and a poor one at that). We understand that the small heel is a plus for those of us who want to slightly cheat our height, but we recommend any assortment of wingtips and various heeled boots instead. Besides, the echo of clicking soles everywhere you walk is not only inconvenient, but extremely aggravating.

 

Mismatched Seasonal Attire

If you’ve neglected to sort out your closet and compress your summer clothes into storage, you may end up violating some basic rules concerning fabric. For example, wearing a linen shirt with a short pea coat makes about as much sense as booty shorts and Ugg boots. Furthermore, it looks plain weird. Summer shirts of thin material should not be paired with those of heavier Fall fashion, however well the colors may match in your mirror.

 

 

Knowing Your Color Wheel

Adding a splash of color to an otherwise plain wardrobe is admirable, so long as you do it subtly. This means not pairing your navy blue, pinstriped suspenders with your dark green shirt. Instead, wear solid pieces with slight accents of color – a tie, two-toned jacket or pair of sneakers. Vibrant colors combined lose their specialness and, moreover, lose you ladies.

Mom Jeans

For the love of god, it’s 2019 and please wear jeans that sit on your hips. Unless you’re invested in a retro look of high waisted, hipster-ish, slimming pants paired with a belt or suspenders, your belt holes should be near your hip bones. Otherwise, jeans hiked up to just below your belly button encourage women to believe you’re probably an out-of-touch, very married man or and out-of-touch, very unmarried man (i.e. no man they plan on making out with).

T-Shirts With Stupid Slogans

Having flair on the front of your shirt is only a fun thing to stare at when the design does not contain phrases concerning gay jokes, women jokes and jokes about how good-looking, funny and smart you are. This is one of the primary deterrents for modern women, who would prefer to vomit rather than see one more shirt that says something condescending in a less than clever, not so witty way.

A Lesson In Length

Shirts that nearly reach your knees or that never reach past your belly are both hazards to a healthy dating life. Similarly, blazers whose sleeves are much too long or much too short can obstruct an ensemble and make you look like an overgrown child in stolen clothes. If you have a beloved blazer with sleeves too short, simply wear a cuffed shirt beneath it and create a make-shift model look. It’s not so important that the sleeve itself reaches your wrist, but more that you don’t have a large area of exposed flesh awkwardly appearing without reason.

Poorly Fitted Leather

Leather is a tricky thing when it comes to clothes. Leather pants are almost never okay, unless you’re on a stage doing something quite spectacular. Leather jackets have the potential to be alarmingly attractive and bad ass, but you must pick wisely. Most leather jackets are wide in the shoulders, which is intentional, but buying a vintage jacket a few sizes too large will only confuse onlookers by the bulkiness of your arms compared to the size of your neck. If you don’t ride a motorcycle, avoid wearing any leather that doesn’t fit snugly the natural form of your upper body. NOTE: If you ever find yourself accidentally violating this rule in the midst of meeting someone new, lie and pretend that you do ride a motorcycle. It can fix almost anything.

The post Most Common Men’s Fashion Mistakes appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(77) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/14/most-common-mens-fashion-mistakes/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(589) "

There are certain things that cause even the most earthy and understanding of women to cringe and these things have to do, of course, with what you’re wearing. It’s not that women care only about what’s covering you up, but some items of mismatched clothing can so horribly distract a woman that she is incapable […]

The post Most Common Men’s Fashion Mistakes appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(7866) "

There are certain things that cause even the most earthy and understanding of women to cringe and these things have to do, of course, with what you’re wearing. It’s not that women care only about what’s covering you up, but some items of mismatched clothing can so horribly distract a woman that she is incapable of further checking you out (and making it further into your bedroom). To avoid unknowingly ruining your chances with an unsuspecting stranger, be sure to avoid the fashion faux pas listed below.

Socks and Tevas

Oh, goodness, this fashion F-up is legendary. When a woman looks down to survey the length of your limbs and sees, instead, the terrifying image of Teva sandals strapped over lumpy socks, she will barely be able to breathe. Unless you are taking the trash out or picking the newspaper off your front lawn clad in a bathrobe and bed head, please wear regular shoes.

Keeping Your Nose Clean

Upkeep of facial hair is no easy task for men and most women are fairly lenient in their evaluation of such regions. However, to have excess hair hanging out of your nostrils, because you’ve forgotten to clip them this week or simply because you don’t own a pair of small scissors, is inexcusable. Any woman interested in talking to you will be incapable of focusing on your features, preoccupied with the dangling fuzz of your nose. For the unenviable task of nose foliage maintainance, try the Phillips Body Groomer.

 

Denim on Denim

Bruce Springsteen may have made you think that Levi jeans and Levi jackets are splendid soul mates, but he couldn’t have been more incorrect. Denim on denim is a lost cause. If the denims match perfectly, you look like an urban cowboy (i.e. male prostitute). And if the denims are mismatched you look like the 90’s. Enough said. Don’t do it, unless you can do this:

 

 

Animal Accented Cowboy Boots

Lately, cowboy boots have come back to the fashion scene and this is highly unfortunate for anyone who likes to get laid (unless you’re some super hip, super famous Elvis of sorts). Snakeskin cowboy boots with rivets and silver heels only make you look like a strangely displaced, Southern imitator (and a poor one at that). We understand that the small heel is a plus for those of us who want to slightly cheat our height, but we recommend any assortment of wingtips and various heeled boots instead. Besides, the echo of clicking soles everywhere you walk is not only inconvenient, but extremely aggravating.

 

Mismatched Seasonal Attire

If you’ve neglected to sort out your closet and compress your summer clothes into storage, you may end up violating some basic rules concerning fabric. For example, wearing a linen shirt with a short pea coat makes about as much sense as booty shorts and Ugg boots. Furthermore, it looks plain weird. Summer shirts of thin material should not be paired with those of heavier Fall fashion, however well the colors may match in your mirror.

 

 

Knowing Your Color Wheel

Adding a splash of color to an otherwise plain wardrobe is admirable, so long as you do it subtly. This means not pairing your navy blue, pinstriped suspenders with your dark green shirt. Instead, wear solid pieces with slight accents of color – a tie, two-toned jacket or pair of sneakers. Vibrant colors combined lose their specialness and, moreover, lose you ladies.

Mom Jeans

For the love of god, it’s 2019 and please wear jeans that sit on your hips. Unless you’re invested in a retro look of high waisted, hipster-ish, slimming pants paired with a belt or suspenders, your belt holes should be near your hip bones. Otherwise, jeans hiked up to just below your belly button encourage women to believe you’re probably an out-of-touch, very married man or and out-of-touch, very unmarried man (i.e. no man they plan on making out with).

T-Shirts With Stupid Slogans

Having flair on the front of your shirt is only a fun thing to stare at when the design does not contain phrases concerning gay jokes, women jokes and jokes about how good-looking, funny and smart you are. This is one of the primary deterrents for modern women, who would prefer to vomit rather than see one more shirt that says something condescending in a less than clever, not so witty way.

A Lesson In Length

Shirts that nearly reach your knees or that never reach past your belly are both hazards to a healthy dating life. Similarly, blazers whose sleeves are much too long or much too short can obstruct an ensemble and make you look like an overgrown child in stolen clothes. If you have a beloved blazer with sleeves too short, simply wear a cuffed shirt beneath it and create a make-shift model look. It’s not so important that the sleeve itself reaches your wrist, but more that you don’t have a large area of exposed flesh awkwardly appearing without reason.

Poorly Fitted Leather

Leather is a tricky thing when it comes to clothes. Leather pants are almost never okay, unless you’re on a stage doing something quite spectacular. Leather jackets have the potential to be alarmingly attractive and bad ass, but you must pick wisely. Most leather jackets are wide in the shoulders, which is intentional, but buying a vintage jacket a few sizes too large will only confuse onlookers by the bulkiness of your arms compared to the size of your neck. If you don’t ride a motorcycle, avoid wearing any leather that doesn’t fit snugly the natural form of your upper body. NOTE: If you ever find yourself accidentally violating this rule in the midst of meeting someone new, lie and pretend that you do ride a motorcycle. It can fix almost anything.

The post Most Common Men’s Fashion Mistakes appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1550148258) } [6]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(26) "The Problem With Short Men" ["link"]=> string(65) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/14/the-problem-with-short-men/" ["comments"]=> string(73) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/14/the-problem-with-short-men/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Thu, 14 Feb 2019 12:00:59 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(43) "Dating Adviceadvicemenproblemsrelationships" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1543" ["description"]=> string(554) "

For thousands of years, size really did matter. The bigger men were, the more likely they were to have had better nutrition and therefore have better hunting skills. But we came out of the caves ages ago, so why are women still seemingly programmed to pursue men who are taller rather than, say, guys who […]

The post The Problem With Short Men appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5879) "

For thousands of years, size really did matter. The bigger men were, the more likely they were to have had better nutrition and therefore have better hunting skills.

But we came out of the caves ages ago, so why are women still seemingly programmed to pursue men who are taller rather than, say, guys who are closer to their own height?

According to 157 women, a short man is a man who is 5′7″ or shorter. Men who stand 5′8″ to 5′11″ are considered average, and anything 6′ and above constitutes tall.

So what is it about short men that makes women opt for instant rejection? Why are women so hell-bent on finding a tall man when most women don’t usually get much taller than 5′5″?

Howard Goldberg, the Montreal-based writer/director of S&M: Short and Male, who himself stands at 5′3½” without his lifts (5′5″ with), says, “It’s natural for a man to feel inadequate if he’s shorter than the woman. Or for the woman to feel as if she’s going out with a child if the man is shorter than she is.” Ouch!

The filmmaker admits that he ended becoming friends with a lot of women whom he had a romantic interest in simply because of his stature.

And he’s not alone. I recall watching some reality dating show where the woman rejected a perfectly wonderful man simply because he was short. And she told the camera when she was alone that she and her friends made a pact that none of them would ever reproduce with short men.

When asked what the deal is with why women, who stood no taller than 5’5” themselves, wouldn’t date shorter men, here were the most popular answers:

1. Problem with short men

Short in the pants

A lot of the women who dated shorter guys say that the guys were short “all around” and believe that if that is the case for short guys, then that fact must work in the favor of tall guys, too.

Personally, I don’t disagree with this one. I have dated men of all shapes and sizes, and although the tall guys did have long penises, some of them also had what I call “pencil d*cks”, so there’s no satisfaction there. And the truth, in this case, is subjective.

2. Problem with short men

The “Napoleon complex”

The derogatory term was thrown around from just about every woman I spoke with, but I’m not certain that all the women were actually sure about the term.

“He was incredibly aggressive when the situation didn’t really warrant it.” Gina said.

“He always wanted to start a fight when we would go out,” said Allison.

Many of the other women stayed on the same page in the conversations, but I don’t think that it was because the men were short that they behaved like this. Perhaps it was just their temperament.
According to a renowned psychologist: “There’s no evidence a Napoleon complex exists, no evidence short men are disproportionately aggressive. Aggression is equal among all heights.”

Unfortunately, we tend to take notice more so when the aggression is coming from someone in a small package.

3. Problem with short men

Tries too hard

Most of the women I spoke to always made mention of their short boyfriends trying too hard to compensate for what they were lacking in height.

One woman claimed that her boyfriend really beefed up to make up for what he lacked in height and ended up looking even shorter.

Another woman claimed that her boyfriend asked her to help him become a greater lover by being honest about the ways to please her. She, of course, has since married him.

So sometimes trying too hard isn’t a bad thing, huh?

4. Problem with short men

Gets defensive

“Any time anyone laughed around my short boyfriend, he acted as though they were laughing because he was shorter than me.” After a while it became so irritating that I walked.”

Maybe after being made fun of your whole life growing up, it’s only natural to feel defensive about the very thing that you were made fun for… after all, why do you think Enrique Iglesias removed that mole on his face? Why do you think flat-chested women get breast implants?

Unfortunately for short guys, there is no surgery that can fix what they feel is wrong. The surgeon who figures that one out will be rolling in dough – believe that.

In the end, does height really matter that much when women are looking for love? Perhaps initially, a woman may not be attracted to a man who is shorter, but if he’s charming, successful and smart, I’m pretty certain his height can be overlooked.

Of course, plenty of women have disagreed with my assessment. What do you think?

The post The Problem With Short Men appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["wfw"]=> array(1) { ["commentrss"]=> string(70) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/14/the-problem-with-short-men/feed/" } ["slash"]=> array(1) { ["comments"]=> string(1) "0" } ["summary"]=> string(554) "

For thousands of years, size really did matter. The bigger men were, the more likely they were to have had better nutrition and therefore have better hunting skills. But we came out of the caves ages ago, so why are women still seemingly programmed to pursue men who are taller rather than, say, guys who […]

The post The Problem With Short Men appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5879) "

For thousands of years, size really did matter. The bigger men were, the more likely they were to have had better nutrition and therefore have better hunting skills.

But we came out of the caves ages ago, so why are women still seemingly programmed to pursue men who are taller rather than, say, guys who are closer to their own height?

According to 157 women, a short man is a man who is 5′7″ or shorter. Men who stand 5′8″ to 5′11″ are considered average, and anything 6′ and above constitutes tall.

So what is it about short men that makes women opt for instant rejection? Why are women so hell-bent on finding a tall man when most women don’t usually get much taller than 5′5″?

Howard Goldberg, the Montreal-based writer/director of S&M: Short and Male, who himself stands at 5′3½” without his lifts (5′5″ with), says, “It’s natural for a man to feel inadequate if he’s shorter than the woman. Or for the woman to feel as if she’s going out with a child if the man is shorter than she is.” Ouch!

The filmmaker admits that he ended becoming friends with a lot of women whom he had a romantic interest in simply because of his stature.

And he’s not alone. I recall watching some reality dating show where the woman rejected a perfectly wonderful man simply because he was short. And she told the camera when she was alone that she and her friends made a pact that none of them would ever reproduce with short men.

When asked what the deal is with why women, who stood no taller than 5’5” themselves, wouldn’t date shorter men, here were the most popular answers:

1. Problem with short men

Short in the pants

A lot of the women who dated shorter guys say that the guys were short “all around” and believe that if that is the case for short guys, then that fact must work in the favor of tall guys, too.

Personally, I don’t disagree with this one. I have dated men of all shapes and sizes, and although the tall guys did have long penises, some of them also had what I call “pencil d*cks”, so there’s no satisfaction there. And the truth, in this case, is subjective.

2. Problem with short men

The “Napoleon complex”

The derogatory term was thrown around from just about every woman I spoke with, but I’m not certain that all the women were actually sure about the term.

“He was incredibly aggressive when the situation didn’t really warrant it.” Gina said.

“He always wanted to start a fight when we would go out,” said Allison.

Many of the other women stayed on the same page in the conversations, but I don’t think that it was because the men were short that they behaved like this. Perhaps it was just their temperament.
According to a renowned psychologist: “There’s no evidence a Napoleon complex exists, no evidence short men are disproportionately aggressive. Aggression is equal among all heights.”

Unfortunately, we tend to take notice more so when the aggression is coming from someone in a small package.

3. Problem with short men

Tries too hard

Most of the women I spoke to always made mention of their short boyfriends trying too hard to compensate for what they were lacking in height.

One woman claimed that her boyfriend really beefed up to make up for what he lacked in height and ended up looking even shorter.

Another woman claimed that her boyfriend asked her to help him become a greater lover by being honest about the ways to please her. She, of course, has since married him.

So sometimes trying too hard isn’t a bad thing, huh?

4. Problem with short men

Gets defensive

“Any time anyone laughed around my short boyfriend, he acted as though they were laughing because he was shorter than me.” After a while it became so irritating that I walked.”

Maybe after being made fun of your whole life growing up, it’s only natural to feel defensive about the very thing that you were made fun for… after all, why do you think Enrique Iglesias removed that mole on his face? Why do you think flat-chested women get breast implants?

Unfortunately for short guys, there is no surgery that can fix what they feel is wrong. The surgeon who figures that one out will be rolling in dough – believe that.

In the end, does height really matter that much when women are looking for love? Perhaps initially, a woman may not be attracted to a man who is shorter, but if he’s charming, successful and smart, I’m pretty certain his height can be overlooked.

Of course, plenty of women have disagreed with my assessment. What do you think?

The post The Problem With Short Men appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1550145659) } [7]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(38) "Valentines Day: What Women Really Want" ["link"]=> string(76) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/13/valentines-day-what-women-really-want/" ["comments"]=> string(84) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/13/valentines-day-what-women-really-want/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Wed, 13 Feb 2019 12:43:19 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(88) "HolidaysadvicegirlsinterestinglifetipsrelationshipsromanticValentinesValentines Daywomen" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1515" ["description"]=> string(561) "

As much as you guys hate to admit it, February 14th is not just another day. It’s a day with meaning. A day you’re supposed to celebrate and express your love. A day Hallmark makes boatloads of cash. On the upside, it’s also a day when, if you play your cards right, your girl might […]

The post Valentines Day: What Women Really Want appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(9608) "

As much as you guys hate to admit it, February 14th is not just another day. It’s a day with meaning. A day you’re supposed to celebrate and express your love. A day Hallmark makes boatloads of cash. On the upside, it’s also a day when, if you play your cards right, your girl might just rock some retina-searing lingerie. To help your cause, here are eight real women‘s tales of the so-called most romantic day of the year. Hint: think effort, not candy.

Valentine’s Day, Our Way

My best Valentine’s Day was when we just spent the day together, hanging out outside and watching the couples go by trying to figure out how long they had been together. It was so much fun! We’d ponder, “Was it an example of the unfortunate first date fell on Valentine’s Day?” or “Had this been their 20th Hallmark Holiday?” My worst Valentine’s Day was when he tried too hard to impress me and we ended up waiting forever at a restaurant that was overpriced and had a set menu. It seems everyone goes out to dinner that night. So plan ahead with the reservation or avoid dining at a restaurant. Be romantic, be sweet, and don’t hate on it. If you think it’s stupid and you act like it is, it won’t be a good day for her.
– Carrie, comedian 

Champagne, Rose Petals, Victoria’s Secret And Cough Drops

I had an especially romantic Valentine’s Day planned by my boyfriend. Even though it didn’t go as planned, it actually brought us closer. Rose petals. Champagne. Victoria’s Secret lingerie. I was definitely impressed by all his effort and attention to detail, especially considering that I came down with a terrible fever that night, the start of a flu. The next day he didn’t leave my side as I spent the day sucking on cough drops, sipping tea and sleeping. It was hardly the Valentine’s Day he had planned, but it’s then that I knew that he really cared for me. When he proposed four months later, how could I refuse? My husband still shows me daily how much he cares.
– Jessica, psychiatrist  

Skip The Flowers And Chocolate And Do Something Fun!

My favorite thing to do for Valentine’s Day is to have a romantic dinner at home with a nice bottle of wine. I hate dealing with the crowds and the food is never as good and is super over-priced! I would prefer not to get a present. I would rather take that money and plan a fun mini trip the weekend before or after Valentine’s Day. My most memorable Valentine’s Day was a weekend trip to Disneyland. It was perfect. We booked a room right across the street from the park. We had a blast at Disneyland and California Adventure and came back to the room whenever we needed a break.
– Jaylyn, advertising

Cheap And Non-Cheesy

I think Valentine’s Day is a bit of a cheese-ball type of holiday that only profits corporations who sell candy, flowers and greeting cards. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great for the economy, but not for me. I’d rather celebrate the day before or after, if anything, to avoid the crazy restaurant scene and inflated cost of flowers. My favorite Valentine’s Day was in college when I got together with a bunch of friends and polished off a ridiculous number of cheap bottles of Charles Shaw. It was so much more fun than any Valentine’s Day I’ve spent with a guy! Now my husband and I just treat it like any other day and save the special celebrations for when they come naturally.
– Janelle, physical therapist 

Doted On By A Guy I Wasn’t Into

The guy I was dating did everything a girl would love. He sent two-dozen long-stemmed roses to my work and when I arrived at his place for a romantic evening I was greeted with a single long-stemmed rose and champagne, even though he wasn’t a drinker. The table was set beautifully and included another dozen roses as the centerpiece. He cooked me a five-course gourmet meal, and dessert was chocolate-dipped strawberries and angel food cake with fresh berries and whipped cream. I was out the door by 10:30 that evening. The reason was simple. I just wasn’t into the guy. I was thinking it was time to break up, but I wanted to give it one last shot. A week later we were no longer together. Again, he did everything right; he just wasn’t the right guy for me.
– Randy, caterer

Make Every Day V-Day

Honestly, I hate Valentine’s Day. It just seems stupid, because in my opinion, every day is Valentine’s Day (or should be) when you’re in love. My current boyfriend Dave usually sends me flowers on a random day for no reason and that is much more meaningful than sitting in a crowded restaurant pretending to be all goo-goo eyed because Hallmark tells us to on February 14th. He calls and texts me just to say he loves me at random hours of most days and nights. Guys think we want flowers, candy and romance on Valentine’s Day.  I just want to be with my boyfriend regardless of what day it is!
– Kylie, fashion designer

It’s All About Effort

I’ve never actually had a romantic Valentine’s Day, but I’d like to share a very romantic thing a guy did for me. We were chatting on the phone one night and I mentioned that I felt like having some strawberries. It wasn’t a request, just a thought out loud. In less than an hour he was knocking my door with a huge basket of strawberries. I really wasn’t expecting him to surprise me with this.  Keep in mind he came over at 1 am and no stores in Russia, where I live, are open past 9 pm. I still have no idea where he got the berries, but this was such a romantic gesture, Valentine’s Day or not. So  for Valentine’s Day, I’d hope that a guy that was interested in me would go out of his way to bring a smile to my face.
– Natalie, web designer

Long-Distance Love – Give A Guy Some Credit!

For last Valentine’s Day, my boyfriend and I were long-distance. I was living in New York City and he was living in Boston. I’d visit him often and every weekend we’d find a new place in Boston to dine. Since my boyfriend doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day, nailing down what exactly we would be doing was like giving a cat a bath … impossible. When I finally arrived in Boston, he picked me up from the train station and promptly took me back to his apartment. I was a little disappointed since I had a nice bottle of champagne in my bag to celebrate our love. Sitting in his bachelor pad with his messy roommate wasn’t my idea of a romantic night. But I had not given him enough credit. He sat me on the couch and said, “Since we go out to eat every weekend you’re here, I thought we should make this night special. So I’m going to cook for you.” He cooked filet mignon, my favorite, with a whiskey cream reduction sauce with fresh crab and shrimp in it. We enjoyed our Valentine’s Day inside, away from the hustle and bustle. It was perfect!
– Becky, content manager

And now a word from your author

I’ve done every version of Valentine’s Day, both single and with a boyfriend, and what I’ve found is that it doesn’t really matter what you buy or where you go. It’s about who you’re with and what you two enjoy doing. If a woman isn’t really feeling you, no amount of planning or romantic gestures will win her over and make a Valentine’s Day special. If she is feeling you, and you just listen and plan enough to do something that’s special to her, involves some effort and shows you care — which, let’s face it, you should be showing her every day anyway — you have a pretty good shot of seeing her in that red-hot lingerie, rather than seeing yourself out the door.

 

The post Valentines Day: What Women Really Want appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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As much as you guys hate to admit it, February 14th is not just another day. It’s a day with meaning. A day you’re supposed to celebrate and express your love. A day Hallmark makes boatloads of cash. On the upside, it’s also a day when, if you play your cards right, your girl might […]

The post Valentines Day: What Women Really Want appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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As much as you guys hate to admit it, February 14th is not just another day. It’s a day with meaning. A day you’re supposed to celebrate and express your love. A day Hallmark makes boatloads of cash. On the upside, it’s also a day when, if you play your cards right, your girl might just rock some retina-searing lingerie. To help your cause, here are eight real women‘s tales of the so-called most romantic day of the year. Hint: think effort, not candy.

Valentine’s Day, Our Way

My best Valentine’s Day was when we just spent the day together, hanging out outside and watching the couples go by trying to figure out how long they had been together. It was so much fun! We’d ponder, “Was it an example of the unfortunate first date fell on Valentine’s Day?” or “Had this been their 20th Hallmark Holiday?” My worst Valentine’s Day was when he tried too hard to impress me and we ended up waiting forever at a restaurant that was overpriced and had a set menu. It seems everyone goes out to dinner that night. So plan ahead with the reservation or avoid dining at a restaurant. Be romantic, be sweet, and don’t hate on it. If you think it’s stupid and you act like it is, it won’t be a good day for her.
– Carrie, comedian 

Champagne, Rose Petals, Victoria’s Secret And Cough Drops

I had an especially romantic Valentine’s Day planned by my boyfriend. Even though it didn’t go as planned, it actually brought us closer. Rose petals. Champagne. Victoria’s Secret lingerie. I was definitely impressed by all his effort and attention to detail, especially considering that I came down with a terrible fever that night, the start of a flu. The next day he didn’t leave my side as I spent the day sucking on cough drops, sipping tea and sleeping. It was hardly the Valentine’s Day he had planned, but it’s then that I knew that he really cared for me. When he proposed four months later, how could I refuse? My husband still shows me daily how much he cares.
– Jessica, psychiatrist  

Skip The Flowers And Chocolate And Do Something Fun!

My favorite thing to do for Valentine’s Day is to have a romantic dinner at home with a nice bottle of wine. I hate dealing with the crowds and the food is never as good and is super over-priced! I would prefer not to get a present. I would rather take that money and plan a fun mini trip the weekend before or after Valentine’s Day. My most memorable Valentine’s Day was a weekend trip to Disneyland. It was perfect. We booked a room right across the street from the park. We had a blast at Disneyland and California Adventure and came back to the room whenever we needed a break.
– Jaylyn, advertising

Cheap And Non-Cheesy

I think Valentine’s Day is a bit of a cheese-ball type of holiday that only profits corporations who sell candy, flowers and greeting cards. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great for the economy, but not for me. I’d rather celebrate the day before or after, if anything, to avoid the crazy restaurant scene and inflated cost of flowers. My favorite Valentine’s Day was in college when I got together with a bunch of friends and polished off a ridiculous number of cheap bottles of Charles Shaw. It was so much more fun than any Valentine’s Day I’ve spent with a guy! Now my husband and I just treat it like any other day and save the special celebrations for when they come naturally.
– Janelle, physical therapist 

Doted On By A Guy I Wasn’t Into

The guy I was dating did everything a girl would love. He sent two-dozen long-stemmed roses to my work and when I arrived at his place for a romantic evening I was greeted with a single long-stemmed rose and champagne, even though he wasn’t a drinker. The table was set beautifully and included another dozen roses as the centerpiece. He cooked me a five-course gourmet meal, and dessert was chocolate-dipped strawberries and angel food cake with fresh berries and whipped cream. I was out the door by 10:30 that evening. The reason was simple. I just wasn’t into the guy. I was thinking it was time to break up, but I wanted to give it one last shot. A week later we were no longer together. Again, he did everything right; he just wasn’t the right guy for me.
– Randy, caterer

Make Every Day V-Day

Honestly, I hate Valentine’s Day. It just seems stupid, because in my opinion, every day is Valentine’s Day (or should be) when you’re in love. My current boyfriend Dave usually sends me flowers on a random day for no reason and that is much more meaningful than sitting in a crowded restaurant pretending to be all goo-goo eyed because Hallmark tells us to on February 14th. He calls and texts me just to say he loves me at random hours of most days and nights. Guys think we want flowers, candy and romance on Valentine’s Day.  I just want to be with my boyfriend regardless of what day it is!
– Kylie, fashion designer

It’s All About Effort

I’ve never actually had a romantic Valentine’s Day, but I’d like to share a very romantic thing a guy did for me. We were chatting on the phone one night and I mentioned that I felt like having some strawberries. It wasn’t a request, just a thought out loud. In less than an hour he was knocking my door with a huge basket of strawberries. I really wasn’t expecting him to surprise me with this.  Keep in mind he came over at 1 am and no stores in Russia, where I live, are open past 9 pm. I still have no idea where he got the berries, but this was such a romantic gesture, Valentine’s Day or not. So  for Valentine’s Day, I’d hope that a guy that was interested in me would go out of his way to bring a smile to my face.
– Natalie, web designer

Long-Distance Love – Give A Guy Some Credit!

For last Valentine’s Day, my boyfriend and I were long-distance. I was living in New York City and he was living in Boston. I’d visit him often and every weekend we’d find a new place in Boston to dine. Since my boyfriend doesn’t believe in Valentine’s Day, nailing down what exactly we would be doing was like giving a cat a bath … impossible. When I finally arrived in Boston, he picked me up from the train station and promptly took me back to his apartment. I was a little disappointed since I had a nice bottle of champagne in my bag to celebrate our love. Sitting in his bachelor pad with his messy roommate wasn’t my idea of a romantic night. But I had not given him enough credit. He sat me on the couch and said, “Since we go out to eat every weekend you’re here, I thought we should make this night special. So I’m going to cook for you.” He cooked filet mignon, my favorite, with a whiskey cream reduction sauce with fresh crab and shrimp in it. We enjoyed our Valentine’s Day inside, away from the hustle and bustle. It was perfect!
– Becky, content manager

And now a word from your author

I’ve done every version of Valentine’s Day, both single and with a boyfriend, and what I’ve found is that it doesn’t really matter what you buy or where you go. It’s about who you’re with and what you two enjoy doing. If a woman isn’t really feeling you, no amount of planning or romantic gestures will win her over and make a Valentine’s Day special. If she is feeling you, and you just listen and plan enough to do something that’s special to her, involves some effort and shows you care — which, let’s face it, you should be showing her every day anyway — you have a pretty good shot of seeing her in that red-hot lingerie, rather than seeing yourself out the door.

 

The post Valentines Day: What Women Really Want appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Most guys don’t have a white horse at the ready to snatch up a woman into happily-ever-after, but there are still romantic gestures any man can perform. These gestures are not necessarily elaborate, and they don’t even involve kneeling down like a pauper to beg for her hand in marriage (although that will take the […]

The post The 3 Most Romantic Gestures Any Man Can Perform appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Most guys don’t have a white horse at the ready to snatch up a woman into happily-ever-after, but there are still romantic gestures any man can perform. These gestures are not necessarily elaborate, and they don’t even involve kneeling down like a pauper to beg for her hand in marriage (although that will take the cake every time). The three most romantic gestures any man can perform are instead affordable, feasible, don’t include singing some sickly serenade on a balcony and can actually be kind of fun—as long as you’re tough enough to survive in the rain or cold without a coat for a few minutes.

Write a love poem.

Don’t fret if you’re not Shakespeare–or can’t even come up with a word that rhymes with “beer.” Writing a love poem for your girl is one of the most romantic gestures any man can perform. It’s not the actual words that count, but the thought that you cared enough to sincerely pour out your heart on paper just for her. Sound too mushy for you? You can instead write a rap song or heavy metal tune, as long as you keep out the f-word and don’t call her any nasty names.

Whisk her away for a surprise get-away.

An impromptu weekend in Paris will get you brownie points for the rest of your life, but you can still make a romantic gesture without traveling or knowing how to say “Where’s the bathroom?” in French. A surprise picnic during a hellish workweek lunch, a spontaneous holiday up in the mountains or even a quick jaunt to the park can count. As long as it’s a special get-away that gets you out of your normal routine for the two of you to be alone, it can count as a romantic gesture. No, the dive bar down the street and the bowling alley won’t cut it.

Give her your coat.

Giving a woman your coat is one of the oldest but most effective romantic gestures that has withstood the test of time. It proves chivalry is not dead while it also proves you’re not an inconsiderate sap who is too wussy to withstand a little cold, rain or snow. Giving her your coat when she’s cold or the weather is foul shows you would sacrifice yourself to ensure she is warm and comfortable. That sacrifice will be remembered forever somewhere deep in her heart, although it still won’t get you out of taking out the trash. And forget about the coat-over-a-puddle move. That’s more stupid than romantic, especially if it’s leather.

The post The 3 Most Romantic Gestures Any Man Can Perform appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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Most guys don’t have a white horse at the ready to snatch up a woman into happily-ever-after, but there are still romantic gestures any man can perform. These gestures are not necessarily elaborate, and they don’t even involve kneeling down like a pauper to beg for her hand in marriage (although that will take the […]

The post The 3 Most Romantic Gestures Any Man Can Perform appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(3405) "

Most guys don’t have a white horse at the ready to snatch up a woman into happily-ever-after, but there are still romantic gestures any man can perform. These gestures are not necessarily elaborate, and they don’t even involve kneeling down like a pauper to beg for her hand in marriage (although that will take the cake every time). The three most romantic gestures any man can perform are instead affordable, feasible, don’t include singing some sickly serenade on a balcony and can actually be kind of fun—as long as you’re tough enough to survive in the rain or cold without a coat for a few minutes.

Write a love poem.

Don’t fret if you’re not Shakespeare–or can’t even come up with a word that rhymes with “beer.” Writing a love poem for your girl is one of the most romantic gestures any man can perform. It’s not the actual words that count, but the thought that you cared enough to sincerely pour out your heart on paper just for her. Sound too mushy for you? You can instead write a rap song or heavy metal tune, as long as you keep out the f-word and don’t call her any nasty names.

Whisk her away for a surprise get-away.

An impromptu weekend in Paris will get you brownie points for the rest of your life, but you can still make a romantic gesture without traveling or knowing how to say “Where’s the bathroom?” in French. A surprise picnic during a hellish workweek lunch, a spontaneous holiday up in the mountains or even a quick jaunt to the park can count. As long as it’s a special get-away that gets you out of your normal routine for the two of you to be alone, it can count as a romantic gesture. No, the dive bar down the street and the bowling alley won’t cut it.

Give her your coat.

Giving a woman your coat is one of the oldest but most effective romantic gestures that has withstood the test of time. It proves chivalry is not dead while it also proves you’re not an inconsiderate sap who is too wussy to withstand a little cold, rain or snow. Giving her your coat when she’s cold or the weather is foul shows you would sacrifice yourself to ensure she is warm and comfortable. That sacrifice will be remembered forever somewhere deep in her heart, although it still won’t get you out of taking out the trash. And forget about the coat-over-a-puddle move. That’s more stupid than romantic, especially if it’s leather.

The post The 3 Most Romantic Gestures Any Man Can Perform appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1549991254) } [9]=> array(14) { ["title"]=> string(50) "How To Get More Responses With Your Dating Profile" ["link"]=> string(82) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/12/get-more-responses-with-your-dating-profile/" ["comments"]=> string(90) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/02/12/get-more-responses-with-your-dating-profile/#respond" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 12 Feb 2019 15:38:39 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(57) "Dating Adviceadvicedatingemailhow tohowtoprofileresponses" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=1506" ["description"]=> string(589) "

When it comes to dating profiles, it’s easy to get caught up in yourself and not really realize that there’s someone out there, searching through myriad men, looking for you. So rather than end up with a profile that just sits there and does nothing for you, why not make sure that you get more […]

The post How To Get More Responses With Your Dating Profile appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(11159) "

When it comes to dating profiles, it’s easy to get caught up in yourself and not really realize that there’s someone out there, searching through myriad men, looking for you.

So rather than end up with a profile that just sits there and does nothing for you, why not make sure that you get more responses with your dating profile? And hopefully from women whom you find interesting as well.

More responses with your dating profile tip #1

Don’t limit yourself

If you fill out what you’re about and you get way too specific, the chances of someone doing an advanced search and finding you become slim to none.

Unless it’s something you absolutely cannot compromise on (being a vegan, for example), opt to leave some things that aren’t important to you blank so that when a woman does a specific search, the chances of you appearing will go up.

More responses with your dating profile tip #2

Think up a catchy username

There’s nothing more annoying than seeing a guy’s username with weird letter and number combos and underscores to boot. Why? Why would you do that?

The best advice I can give for a catchy username is to take an adjective and a noun and throw them together to create an original username. For example, if you’re clumsy and love to play the violin, then you’d be “ClumsyViolin”.

More responses with your dating profile tip #3

Tweak your tagline

Keep it fresh and new at all times. Don’t write “Boom goes the dynamite” when you know that that lyric was used years ago. Instead, make reference to the current season, a recent headline making celeb or even use a quote from your favorite writer.

Update your profile often and make sure that your tagline is always representing you and the times.

More responses with your dating profile tip #4

Use a better photo

Before you even put a photo up, get it girl approved. Ask some female friends what they think of it and take it from there.

Avoid fuzzy, blurry pictures and pictures that don’t show you off. If you put up a photo of you with sunglasses on, it give the impression that you’ve either got something to hide or that you’re insecure.

If you want to get more play when you’re online dating, here are some online dating photo tips that are crucial to your game.

Keep your clothes on

Perhaps you’re proud of your six-pack abs and want the world to see how hard you’ve worked to get them, but the truth is that no one respects any online dater who’s half-naked in their photo.

Even women, while it’s attractive to see a woman in her bikini, she will more often than not attract the wrong attention and give off the wrong vibe.

So keep your clothes on and focus on your face.

Don’t hide your face

How often does it happen that you surf through profiles only to discover that 50% of them are wearing sunglasses or are hiding behind a freaking fedora?

What are you hiding under there? Are you so insecure with your looks that you need to hide behind accessories so we don’t see the real you? Even if that’s not the case, that’s the vibe you give off when you submit a photo of you wearing sunglasses or a hat.

No friends

While it’s great that you’re popular, and perhaps you just think you look great in a particular picture with all your friends, your online dating photo and profile are all about you.

Not to mention that people surfing your profile might think you’re a big time partier or player and will want nothing to do with you. Opt for a photo that displays only you and put your best face forward.

Alongside not posting photos of your friends, what’s worse than doing that is cutting people out of the picture but leaving their arms in the pictures. It just looks so wrong.

Opt for a photo that doesn’t distract the viewer and you’ll be more likely to be the focus of many replies.

No webcam shots

There’s nothing more irritating than webcam shots of people being used as their online dating photo. Not only is it never clear, it usually is taken at a terrible angle and isn’t flattering.

You’re better off using a real camera to take your photos and using those. Webcam shots never do a person justice.

 

Stay out of the bathroom

Another major pet peeve for most people surfing online dating

photos is seeing a photo of a person in their bathroom. Don’t you know that we can see your rash ointment in the background?

Opt for a more appropriate room of the house if you’d like to take a photo of yourself; I’m sure you have a mirror somewhere else in the house, too.

More responses with your dating profile tip #5

Avoid negatives, the ex

To start, don’t mention the ex. Even if she tore your heart to pieces and you’re still recovering, women will steer clear of you if you have ex issues.

Also, avoid using any negative words (hate, can’t, won’t, don’t), overtly sexual lyrics, and don’t get too self-deprecating (you can say you’re clumsy, but don’t call yourself stupid).

More responses with your dating profile tip #6

Have only 3 requirements for now

At this stage in the game, you want to get as many responses as possible. You can filter them out as you see fit, but your objective here is to get the ladies interested.

The best way to do that is by not having a million requirements that will make almost all of them feel left out.

For now, your requirements should list:

Other than that, all women should be fair game.

More responses with your dating profile tip #7

Watch for grammar and typos

Most people I know could really use a lesson on grammar and typographical errors. And even though the internet is a more lax environment when it comes to written communication, you still want to appear as though you’re coherent.

Treat your dating profile like a resume. Make sure you spell everything correctly and use punctuation. I can’t tell you how many times I dismissed a man because he just couldn’t spell to save his life.

More responses to your dating profile

It’s high time you got your dating profile to work for you rather than the other way around.

Build a better dating profile and they will come.

Improve Your Online Dating Profile Regularly

Thanks to modernization we got a great possibility to use different tools that have greatly changed our life. Computers are the things that made it possible to date online. As a result a lot of singles who are sick and tired of regular dating decide to join dating sites reach success. However, to get the best result it is necessary to be aware of the basic things. To avoid unpleasant situations make sure you are doing everything right from the very beginning. First of all, spend some times and efforts on the research of the best online dating site. Read attentively all of the site guidelines since all of the members are provided with useful tips and necessary information. You also can have an access to the word [processing program that will enable you to save your work and paste your profile. At the same time you will have an access to the spell checker.

In case there is a possibility it is necessary to tweak and edit your profile a lot of times. At the same time you can ask your friend who knows you really well to read and edit your profile information. Even in case you do not like the tip they give you, it is still important to listen to the thought of the other person and make your own conclusions. In some situation there is a necessity to alter your description in case you get some matches that can be potential dates.

Your username is also very important part of the profile because it says a lot about you. That is why it is very important to find the name that is really meaningful and create positive impression about your personality. At the same time use something anonymous, so you will feel comfortable in any case. Try not to use personal information because you can get in trouble.

Make sure that your profile is not too long because not all of the members have enough patience and desire to read the profile till the end. It is better to write only some basic information about your personality. It is also recommended to mention some facts that might be interesting for the reader. In that case it is better to write small description that will be accurate reflection of your personality. At the same time download photo that is quite decent and at the same time clearly shows you. Try to be original but also do not forget to be yourself. There is no need to compare your profile to the profiles of the other person. Try to be sincere and show that you are interested in meeting person that is reliable. Some time later you can add some things to your profile.

The post How To Get More Responses With Your Dating Profile appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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When it comes to dating profiles, it’s easy to get caught up in yourself and not really realize that there’s someone out there, searching through myriad men, looking for you. So rather than end up with a profile that just sits there and does nothing for you, why not make sure that you get more […]

The post How To Get More Responses With Your Dating Profile appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(11159) "

When it comes to dating profiles, it’s easy to get caught up in yourself and not really realize that there’s someone out there, searching through myriad men, looking for you.

So rather than end up with a profile that just sits there and does nothing for you, why not make sure that you get more responses with your dating profile? And hopefully from women whom you find interesting as well.

More responses with your dating profile tip #1

Don’t limit yourself

If you fill out what you’re about and you get way too specific, the chances of someone doing an advanced search and finding you become slim to none.

Unless it’s something you absolutely cannot compromise on (being a vegan, for example), opt to leave some things that aren’t important to you blank so that when a woman does a specific search, the chances of you appearing will go up.

More responses with your dating profile tip #2

Think up a catchy username

There’s nothing more annoying than seeing a guy’s username with weird letter and number combos and underscores to boot. Why? Why would you do that?

The best advice I can give for a catchy username is to take an adjective and a noun and throw them together to create an original username. For example, if you’re clumsy and love to play the violin, then you’d be “ClumsyViolin”.

More responses with your dating profile tip #3

Tweak your tagline

Keep it fresh and new at all times. Don’t write “Boom goes the dynamite” when you know that that lyric was used years ago. Instead, make reference to the current season, a recent headline making celeb or even use a quote from your favorite writer.

Update your profile often and make sure that your tagline is always representing you and the times.

More responses with your dating profile tip #4

Use a better photo

Before you even put a photo up, get it girl approved. Ask some female friends what they think of it and take it from there.

Avoid fuzzy, blurry pictures and pictures that don’t show you off. If you put up a photo of you with sunglasses on, it give the impression that you’ve either got something to hide or that you’re insecure.

If you want to get more play when you’re online dating, here are some online dating photo tips that are crucial to your game.

Keep your clothes on

Perhaps you’re proud of your six-pack abs and want the world to see how hard you’ve worked to get them, but the truth is that no one respects any online dater who’s half-naked in their photo.

Even women, while it’s attractive to see a woman in her bikini, she will more often than not attract the wrong attention and give off the wrong vibe.

So keep your clothes on and focus on your face.

Don’t hide your face

How often does it happen that you surf through profiles only to discover that 50% of them are wearing sunglasses or are hiding behind a freaking fedora?

What are you hiding under there? Are you so insecure with your looks that you need to hide behind accessories so we don’t see the real you? Even if that’s not the case, that’s the vibe you give off when you submit a photo of you wearing sunglasses or a hat.

No friends

While it’s great that you’re popular, and perhaps you just think you look great in a particular picture with all your friends, your online dating photo and profile are all about you.

Not to mention that people surfing your profile might think you’re a big time partier or player and will want nothing to do with you. Opt for a photo that displays only you and put your best face forward.

Alongside not posting photos of your friends, what’s worse than doing that is cutting people out of the picture but leaving their arms in the pictures. It just looks so wrong.

Opt for a photo that doesn’t distract the viewer and you’ll be more likely to be the focus of many replies.

No webcam shots

There’s nothing more irritating than webcam shots of people being used as their online dating photo. Not only is it never clear, it usually is taken at a terrible angle and isn’t flattering.

You’re better off using a real camera to take your photos and using those. Webcam shots never do a person justice.

 

Stay out of the bathroom

Another major pet peeve for most people surfing online dating

photos is seeing a photo of a person in their bathroom. Don’t you know that we can see your rash ointment in the background?

Opt for a more appropriate room of the house if you’d like to take a photo of yourself; I’m sure you have a mirror somewhere else in the house, too.

More responses with your dating profile tip #5

Avoid negatives, the ex

To start, don’t mention the ex. Even if she tore your heart to pieces and you’re still recovering, women will steer clear of you if you have ex issues.

Also, avoid using any negative words (hate, can’t, won’t, don’t), overtly sexual lyrics, and don’t get too self-deprecating (you can say you’re clumsy, but don’t call yourself stupid).

More responses with your dating profile tip #6

Have only 3 requirements for now

At this stage in the game, you want to get as many responses as possible. You can filter them out as you see fit, but your objective here is to get the ladies interested.

The best way to do that is by not having a million requirements that will make almost all of them feel left out.

For now, your requirements should list:

Other than that, all women should be fair game.

More responses with your dating profile tip #7

Watch for grammar and typos

Most people I know could really use a lesson on grammar and typographical errors. And even though the internet is a more lax environment when it comes to written communication, you still want to appear as though you’re coherent.

Treat your dating profile like a resume. Make sure you spell everything correctly and use punctuation. I can’t tell you how many times I dismissed a man because he just couldn’t spell to save his life.

More responses to your dating profile

It’s high time you got your dating profile to work for you rather than the other way around.

Build a better dating profile and they will come.

Improve Your Online Dating Profile Regularly

Thanks to modernization we got a great possibility to use different tools that have greatly changed our life. Computers are the things that made it possible to date online. As a result a lot of singles who are sick and tired of regular dating decide to join dating sites reach success. However, to get the best result it is necessary to be aware of the basic things. To avoid unpleasant situations make sure you are doing everything right from the very beginning. First of all, spend some times and efforts on the research of the best online dating site. Read attentively all of the site guidelines since all of the members are provided with useful tips and necessary information. You also can have an access to the word [processing program that will enable you to save your work and paste your profile. At the same time you will have an access to the spell checker.

In case there is a possibility it is necessary to tweak and edit your profile a lot of times. At the same time you can ask your friend who knows you really well to read and edit your profile information. Even in case you do not like the tip they give you, it is still important to listen to the thought of the other person and make your own conclusions. In some situation there is a necessity to alter your description in case you get some matches that can be potential dates.

Your username is also very important part of the profile because it says a lot about you. That is why it is very important to find the name that is really meaningful and create positive impression about your personality. At the same time use something anonymous, so you will feel comfortable in any case. Try not to use personal information because you can get in trouble.

Make sure that your profile is not too long because not all of the members have enough patience and desire to read the profile till the end. It is better to write only some basic information about your personality. It is also recommended to mention some facts that might be interesting for the reader. In that case it is better to write small description that will be accurate reflection of your personality. At the same time download photo that is quite decent and at the same time clearly shows you. Try to be original but also do not forget to be yourself. There is no need to compare your profile to the profiles of the other person. Try to be sincere and show that you are interested in meeting person that is reliable. Some time later you can add some things to your profile.

The post How To Get More Responses With Your Dating Profile appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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